Oscillating somewhere
between conformity and
unabashed rebellion

I fight the secret
war, the battle known
to none but myself.

I fight the great chains
that, often, I forget
chaff the sinew of my

spirit, I’m embarrassed
to say. Sucked into dia-
logues against demagogues

and diatribes about
morality and ethics
that dictate or,

rather, fail to dictate
what is done for those
who do are beholden to none.

Like a robot, I download
and upload, and reload
and login then logout

as softwares record my
moves and clicks and links
and likes for some machine

or system to determine for
me what I will do and see
and fear and love, I click

then unclick and know I’m
fooling no one but like
a mouse I do what I’m

bid to do by those who do
and my moves are theirs
to control and peruse.

I die

for just a moment each
day when I rise and for
a flash I realize what

is going on, what’s been
done, only to turn and
forget as quickly as I

knew, like water dripping
from my palms, like a
dream that slips away

before you can recall
what it was, I forget
what I remembered as

quickly as it was
recalled and I sit,
head in my palms trying

to bring back the facts
I thought I knew, I
thought I’d caught, the

things a moment ago, I
swear I knew, but now I
don’t. I argue, against

I know not what. Once the
thoughts are voiced, they’re
gone and the argument

is lost, or forgotten.
I fall into compliance
until the next day I

rise again and remember
that which I couldn’t recall
and then I forget again.

I fight the unknown war.
I flail against chains I
cannot see and that, often

I forget chaff the sinew
of my spirit
I’m embarrassed to say.